I’d like to preface this by saying: I’m still having a hard time processing all of my feelings about what happened when I gave birth. I’m still disappointed with my birth experience. So… if you’re sensitive, you may not want to read this.
Did you know that a woman’s water breaks on its own only 11% of the time? The other 89% of the time, a woman’s water is broken for her during labor by her midwife/OB. That’s what Mike and I learned during our childbirth class.
Welp. My water broke on its own.
It was Memorial Day, at night, and Mike and I were watching a movie. I had to pee (because I was 39 weeks and 6 days pregnant, I peed almost all of the time). After having peed, I stood up and…
“Uh oh!” I screamed
“What? Are you ok?” Mike asked
“Uh oh! Mike! I… I think my water just broke!” I said, half crying in fear.
I started frantically texting my sister, and calling my midwife. I was terrified.
Even after having read books, watching documentaries, going to birthing classes: I WAS STILL TERRIFIED OF LABOR.
“Trust your body.” Shut the hell up. Trust MY body? You mean the one that made my gallbladder almost explode on me? Ahahaha no. I do not trust my body.
So we got together our hospital bag, laptop bag, my purse, our camera, and headed out.
By the way, when your water breaks, it’s not just one gush, it’s a constant flow that lasts (what feels like) forever.
I piled five or so towels on the seat of the car, and actually tried holding in the water from gushing out anymore. There was just.so.much.
Getting out of the car and into a wheelchair was embarrassing.
More gushing. Ugh.
When I got to Labor & Delivery, the nurse asked me if I could stand up. I replied, “I can, but… water breakage…situation…” …the other nurses laughed.
We got into our first (of 3) rooms and they started hooking me up. Baby Dailey was doing great, just hanging out. My water kept coming out, but no contractions had started yet.
Their main concern, was infection. When your water breaks, your baby becomes exposed to the bacteria from the outside world, (because that bag of water was protecting him/her). So she said we didn’t need pitocin right away, we could wait a bit, but not longer than 12 hours.
I was given a dose of oral misoprostol instead, which can help induce labor. It worked! My contractions started coming. But…
…they weren’t showing up on the monitors.
I wasn’t crazy, right? I explained in full detail what I was feeling to each nurse. They assured me, yes, those were contractions. But for some reason, they just weren’t being picked up on their device.
So I started tracking my contractions with my phone. They were coming every 10 mins… then every 7 mins… then every 5 mins. They were real, and they were happening consistently.
The nurse kept coming in and sighing. “We’re still not registering any of them.”
I was pissed.
Did I mention I was confined to my bed this whole time?
I wanted to get out of the damn bed and start walking. But she needed my midwife’s permission, and my midwife was currently busy.
At this point, I’ve been in labor for roughly 10 hours, and I finally get the OK to get up and walk BUT I can only do this for 1/2 hour, because then the OB wants to start discussing pitocin.
What?? I only get to walk around for 30 mins? What the crap? This is bullshit.
I did not want to be confined to a bed the whole time. This is my worst nightmare coming true.
After walking, we head back to my room, and the OB comes in and starts talking about starting pitocin. She said my contractions aren’t strong enough, and they aren’t close enough together (at this point they were 3 minutes apart).
I was uncomfortable, so I called in my midwife and explained to her that I don’t want to start pitocin. The midwife then goes out and yells at the OB… who then comes back in and apologizes… and agrees to try another round of misoprostol first.
Also I’m finally at 1 cm! Woohoo! And my contractions are FINALLY registering on the stupid monitor. Yay!
A contraction feels like you’re holding in a fart and/or have really painful gas. That’s the best way I can describe it. Some women say it feels like bad cramps, but… I don’t really know what cramps feel like, because I’ve never had them. Heh.
A contraction starts very small, and slowly builds. You eventually figure out when it peeks. I got so excited right after the peek, because then I knew it would start slowly fading away and be over with.
But honestly, I felt like a fucking goddess. I was slowly breathing them out, and checking Facebook and Instagram during them as well. (Hey, distractions work!) And I was doing GREAT!
After a few hours of having contractions 3 minutes apart, (and now I’m dilated to 3cm!) the OB comes back in to discuss pitocin… again.
She said we should really start it. We could even start with the teeniest, tiniest amount and take it really slow.
Sigh. Fine, I guess so. I gave in.
The lovely nurses came in (I mean that–my nurses were WONDERFUL) and hooked me up to a pitocin drip, and immediately, I go into a FOUR-MINUTE-LONG CONTRACTION
…and Baby Dailey’s heart-rate takes a dive.
Within 10 seconds, there are doctors and nurses swarming my bed, shouting out numbers to each other, and other terms I don’t remember and at the time, didn’t understand. Meanwhile my midwife is at the foot of the bed telling me what is going on. Apparently, the baby didn’t like the pitocin, and is reacting negatively to it.
They may need to wheel me in to do an emergency c-section.
They injected me with something to stop my contraction, which I was told, will also made my heart race.
It feels like you’re spinning out of control. You’re running a marathon but you’re lying still. It’s not a good feeling.
There was a student nurse up by my head, calmly talking to me, and saying, “I just want you to take nice, deep breaths,” as she put an oxygen mask over my face. I really hope I didn’t creep her out… I just kept staring into her eyes; I was so scared. She was so comforting, and calm. She just kept reminding me to take nice deep breaths.
As my heart raced, Baby Dailey’s heart rate thankfully stabilized…
(Part 2 coming up soon: So, what’s next? How is Baby Dailey going to come out?)